Do kids catch up and overcome their gross motor delays as they get older?

by Maggie
(Malaysia)

My son is a younger twin (smaller one too) and had to repeat a year at school as he is slow and cannot do many activities due to his delay. PE is a challenge as his coordination is not good. He finds it very difficult to write, use scissors and doesn't hold his pencil properly that results in him having to put extra effort into writing and gets tired quickly and this has an impact on his schooling.

It breaks my heart every time he comes home and someone has made fun of him in class or on the playground because he didn't know how to spell a certain word or participate in group games. He sees his twin brother excelling and him getting left behind and its beginning to frustrate him.

He is such a hard worker and once he becomes good at something he puts even more effort to get even better. My mom says he will catch up at some point but I'm not really sure. He was late in all his developmental milestones and i always felt there was something not right.

We are trying to find out his strengths one of which is his long term memory, he will never forget a face or a name or something that happened many years ago!

Has anyone experienced their child "catching up" and overcoming gross and motor skill related "disabilities"?

My fear is that as he grows he becomes more frustrated and it starts to impact his personality.

Comments for Do kids catch up and overcome their gross motor delays as they get older?

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The Twin Thing
by: Feliss

I really feel for you.

I don't have experience of motor delays but I do have twin sons (now 16) and went through a similar thing with them in terms of one excelling where the other doesn't.

My younger twin son learned to read right on track the year he started school but his twin learned within a week and was reading chapter books designed for older kids within about six months. Result? Younger son decided he was no good at reading, couldn't do it, didn't want to do it, etc etc. It took loads of encouragement and work to get him to the point where he read fluently and liked reading.

We had a similar challenge with sport and social development. When they were young, No 1 son was Mr Popular. He was cheeky, funny and very good at sport so all his classmates looked up to him and wanted to be his friend. I really worried about No 2 son because he was quieter and lacked confidence.

The funny thing is that now No 2 son is still quiet but has a strong, lovely group of friends and gets on well with everyone. I guess he's a quiet achiever. He's funny, is excelling at school (especially in science and maths) and has a quiet confidence and willingness to 'have a go' which I really admire. He's found his 'thing' (maths and science) and is happy with who he is.

His brother is difficult and tempestuous, doesn't like school, is impulsive and, I think, still quite immature. He too has lots of friends and now a girlfriend but we still have issues and I pray a lot about him!

Anyway, sorry for the long post but I did want to let you know that the twin relationship is unpredictable and your younger twin will find his niche in life, with your loving help.

Keep up the encouragement and the search for things he likes and is good at with an emphasis on the things his twin is NOT doing.

Good luck and God bless.
Finding his strengths
by: OT Mom

Hi there,
it is heartbreaking to watch your child struggle like that, and it must be doubly hard when the other twin is so much "stronger" at so many things.

I think that finding his strengths is the best way to go, and help him to find activities and hobbies that are different to his brother's.

My younger child is so much more coordinated and skilled in some areas than my older child, and I know that if he was playing the same sport as my older one, he would easily be playing on the same level, which would make my older one feel bad! He also writes so much more neatly and easily, that I sometimes cannot tell which child filled in which worksheet, which is crazy as one is Grade 1, and the other is Grade 3!

So I am trying hard to encourage them to explore different hobbies and extra-murals, so they can each shine at their own thing. By all means try and get occupational or physio therapy for your child so he can have help in overcoming his difficulties, because it will help him to progress more quickly.

I hope this helps. Feel free to post more questions!
Motor skill delay
by: Sam

Hi there, totally understand your worries. My son turns 4 next month. He has physio for gross motor skill delay and also sees an ot for the fine motor skills and were doing speech therapy. It upsets me time and time again seeing him fall over in the park attempting to keep up with his friends. Most who are riding scooters and bikes. He must be so frustrated more so than me. And although we're only starting school now I do worry how he will keep up and what will happen if it gets tough and kids pick on him. All I can think of is there is so much more to him, he's one very spirited little boy and that energy will get him to wherever he wishes to go. All we can do is do the exercises, offer encouragement and huge amounts of love.
They are all so special in their own way. My son couldn't walk till 21months, he's fallen over so much since but he's like 'forest gump'. Once he gets going he doesn't stop and I think he has more determination than most!
It might not be a quick fix, it might take a lot of hardwork but sometimes the ones who have these obstacles turn out to be better for it.

I am trying my best in the meantime to stop worrying and just look at all the positives x

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